Here’s a potentially amusing situation that could backfire like a dodgy blaster gun. Imagine this: your manly/nerdy self has been to a bar, hit on a smokin’ hot chick, wooed the pants off her and driven her back to your place. You guide her to the bedroom, slither under the covers with her and share a hurried and excited disrobing session. She asks if you have protection. “Yes, ma’am,” you reply, being a sensible lad, and reach into your pants pocket for your trusty wallet. You take out your wallet. You reach inside and find a condom. You remove the condom, place down your wallet, turn back to the patiently waiting lady, ready to “suit up,” and are faced with what can only be described as a look of repulsion and horror. Why this look? Because the woman you’ve just picked up, driven to your apartment, taken to your bed, stripped naked and sexually aroused is now looking into the vomit-tainted eyeballs of Jabba the Hutt. [Read more…]
The Five Worst Kinds of Pickup Lines
Pickup lines, as a rule, generally suck. Everyone knows one when they hear one, and a lot of times are not impressed by them. Even at their best, pickup lines are tacky and silly sounding, and even those are a rarity.
I have noticed, though, that pickup lines can be sorted into groups, based on what kind of awful person they make you look like. First impressions are everything, and since all this person knows about you is that you just tried to hit on them by hitting them with a snappy one liner, it’s going to force them to draw some conclusions about your everyday demeanor. For simplicity’s sake, the situations described are based on a man trying to hit on a woman, since this appears to be the most common scenario. [Read more…]
Top 10 Myths About Metal Music
Metal and its many subgenres have been explored by people across the world for over 40 years now. Naturally, there are such a wide range of misjudgments that have reared up over time that it’s imperative that people are made aware about ‘totally’ misunderstood this music really is!
Here is a list of top then myths that overshadow the phenomena that ‘metal’ really is and the truths that accompany them! [Read more…]
11 Points Review of 11 Points Guide to Hooking Up
by Elizabeth Downing Johnson: When I was first asked to review a book I was all, “Great! I can be a prestigious, well-respected, nay FEARED, literary critic. When I received the book I was all, “Crap. How am I going to explain my reading of this book to my husband?” It’s for ART, I told him. It’s for the INTERNET, I further told him. The book was sent for FREE, by the AUTHOR, who might one day be FAMOUS, and who included a handwritten note on a pink INDEX CARD. And he was all, “OK.” So, without further ado, here is my review of the book entitled 11 Points Guide to Hooking Up, by Sam Greenspan.
1. Even if you’re a person in a committed relationship (married even) you’ll find this book enjoyable. The author is knowledgeable, funny, and…funny. It’s a funny book. Who doesn’t like funny books? Some of the information will be a bit distasteful to you (especially if you’ve spent a lot of time protesting the elimination of your pubic hair, or protesting the idea of threesomes), but overall it is a solid read.
Top 10 Misconceptions About Nudism
Nudism (naturalism) has been a center of attraction forever – be it the sidelong, scandalized glares or the welcoming, liberal brouhaha around it – Nudism, let’s face is famous, or infamous. Whether you like it or not is irrelevant, fact is: you cannot ignore it.
So here’s a list of myths that have been built around nudism over time. What is not openly understood, is mostly classified ‘exotic’, ‘occult’ or even as some other “not so-very-cool” names. [Read more…]