This little piece of porous yellow magic is a must-have for any shower-singing aficionado. \u00a0Form meets function in one spectacularly silly concept. \u00a0While this may not be the dumbest product on the market, the visual image is invokes is certain to illicit a few giggles. \u00a0Personally, I\u2019d like one of my own. \u00a0Just sayin\u2019.<\/p>\n 9. \u00a0Mustache Protector<\/strong><\/p>\n It goes without saying that a proper mustache is deserving of respect and admiration. \u00a0The rank of \u201cSoup Strainer,\u201d \u201cFood Catcher\u201d and \u201cFlavor Saver\u201d are hardly befitting of such a dashingly dignified show of manhood. \u00a0The 1830\u2019s brought about a breakthrough in mustache defense in the form of built-in guards for cups, spoons and bowls that would prevent the unfortunate meeting of mustaches and meals.<\/p>\n 8. \u00a0Cigarette Pack Holder<\/strong><\/p>\n Advances in human health and well-being have grown by leaps and bounds since the mid-twentieth century, including the identification of some of the causes and contributing factors to such terrible afflictions as cancer and heart disease. \u00a0In 1955, however, the link between cigarettes and the roughly 3,242,349,834,239,845 diseases they can cause had not yet been established. \u00a0Smoking was, in fact, considered sexy and cool. \u00a0Hence, a cigarette holder was invented that could hold AN ENTIRE PACK OF CIGARETTES, with the intention of smoking them ALL AT ONE TIME.<\/p>\n 7. \u00a0Wearable Dog House<\/strong><\/p>\n According to the ASPCA, there are roughly 75 million dog owners in the United States. \u00a0For those dedicated doggy lovers who simply can\u2019t bear to be parted from their poochy pals, there is the Wearable Dog House. \u00a0This\u2026uhm\u2026contraption straps around the shoulders and torso of the individual (human, that is) and provides a shelter for the dog. \u00a0My personal opinion? A) \u00a0Some people need serious help. B) My dog is huge. \u00a0He would never fit in one of those.<\/p>\n 6. \u00a0Anti-Bandit Bag<\/strong><\/p>\n This Gigantic Waste of Money was invented in 1963 by the esteemed John H.T. Rinfret. \u00a0The entire purpose of the carrying case was to foil the attempted theft of personal papers and belongings. \u00a0The problem? \u00a0When the bag was snatched from the hand of the owner, a chain releases the bottom of the bag, dumping the contents on the ground. \u00a0This bag offers about as much protection for your belongings as a pair of ass-less pants offers your tush against wicker furniture.<\/p>\n 5. \u00a0Cat Dusting Slippers<\/strong><\/p>\n As a general rule, cats aren\u2019t the best housekeepers. \u00a0This leads me to believe that perhaps this invention is a blatant exercise in futility. \u00a0Assuming that the cat doesn\u2019t simply attempt to tear your face off while you strap the aforementioned dusters to her feet, she\u2019ll mostly likely glare at you with seething hatred, barf on the rug and go take a nap on your clean laundry.<\/p>\n 4. \u00a0Beard Beanie<\/strong><\/p>\n Ok. \u00a0We\u2019ve already had the mustache discussion, and the same rules apply for beards. \u00a0Sadly, not all gentlemen are lucky enough to be able to cultivate a fine, proud beard of their own. \u00a0For those unfortunate souls, there is the Beard Beanie. \u00a0As silly as it may look, I not-so-secretly love this fantastic chapeau.<\/p>\n 3. \u00a0The Flowbee<\/strong><\/p>\n Remember these? \u00a0Everyone wishes they could be more self-sufficient, and in these desperate economic times, people look to cut expenses any way they can. \u00a0The Flowbee offers an interesting option \u2013 trade your cstly stylist for a razor filled funnel attached to a vacuum \u00a0cleaner. \u00a0This could save you a ton of cash, as long as you don\u2019t mind looking like you got in a fight with a weed eater and lost.<\/p>\n 2. \u00a0Venetian Blind Sunglasses<\/strong><\/p>\n Making their appearance around 1950, this fantastically terrible fashion statement is not only useless, but has the overall effect of making the wearer look like a total toolbag. \u00a0Somehow, through some evil fashion karma, these have seen a re-emergence into the modern wardrobe. \u00a0It wasn\u2019t pretty then, and it hasn\u2019t gotten better with age. \u00a0We can only hope that this style zombie returns to the grave.<\/p>\n 1. \u00a0The Reserve a Spot in Heaven Travel Kit<\/strong><\/p>\n This gets the number one spot because it not only affects the Earthly realm, but the afterlife as well. \u00a0Apparently, it is no longer necessary to lead a good clean life in the hopes of someday seeing the Pearly Gates. \u00a0For the low, low price of $15.95, you can obtain a Ticket to Heaven, an all-access VIP Pass (you know, so you can get in all the cool parties), a guaranteed spot in the Book of Light, a laminated Heaven-Issued ID and a handy-dandy Heaven 101 guide book. \u00a0Who knew it could be so simple? \u00a0And to think of all the time we spend trying to be nice and not stab people\u2026<\/p>\n For more product fail<\/a>, check out WouldNotBuythis.com<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" The human mind is a beautiful and dangerous thing. \u00a0Capable of astounding revelation and world-changing deductive reasoning, the scope of human intelligence has forever determined the course of human history and the evolution of the species.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[1323,1315,1316,1324,1319,1322,1325,1321,1311,1318,1313,1312,1310,1314,1326,1317,1309,1320],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","yoast_head":"\n![\"mike](\"http:\/\/www.thisblogrules.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/02\/mike-sponge.jpg\" "\\"mike")
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