So you’re an accountant, a teacher, a nurse or a musician? You think you’ve had it as far as your job is concerned?
Well, for also those of us who do the daily toil to make money and earn their bread and butter, here’s a list that is going to be a sure shot spirits raiser – a list of ten jobs that will make even the most inane of jobs seem like a true pleasure.
Rest assured that most of these jobs, barring a few are the sort you would probably feel lucky without!
Armpit Sniffer
When we visit the super market to buy deodorants, most of us are drawn in by the lure of colorful packaging and nice scents. However, little do we know that before those bottles hit the shelves, someone needs to make sure they actually do what they are meant to – mask the disconcerting body odour.
This job well, falls in the kitty of armpit sniffers whose responsibility it is to sniff smelly arm pits all days long to ensure that their deodorant is effective.
One would most naturally assume that the pay rate is pretty good and the job markets were really own which probably is the one and only upside to a job like this!
Chicken Sexer
What’s that again?
Well, the job of the chicken sexer is to determine the sex of baby chickens when they hatch so that they can be sent off to the appropriate location for their not-so-long future lives as a battery hen or the dinner for three.
This job requires a gentle hand (one would imagine!), a good eye (to determine whether the baby chicks have a penis or not) and most importantly the ability to successfully drift off from the reality of this uniquely morbid work life where you spent your days looking at chicken sex organs!
Furniture Tester
Next time you bring home a new bed or a sofa, think of the many men and women whose job it is to sit or lie in those things for hours to test their ‘comfort level’ (really? This may be one of those exceptions pointed out in the introduction!).
However, since furniture design is not a typical matter of science or ergonomics – someone actually needs to make sure they function and are reasonably comfortable.
This may actually sound like a pretty strange concept as comfort is relatively subjective but one thing we can be sure about those in this occupation, must rarely complain!
Snake Milker
Snake venom is used for a variety of things but the most important use for it is undoubtedly in the field of medical research. A lot of venom is needed every year for this research and there has got to be some poor bloke out there who has to spend all day pushing snake fangs into a plastic container in order to milk them!
Least we can imagine is that this dude at least has the satisfaction of knowing that his morbid pursuit of snake venoms might actually one day help save a life. Not bad right?
Airplane Repo Man
We’re pretty sure you’ve never wondered about what happens when someone forgets to may payments on their private jets!
Well, the finance company then sends in the Airplane Repo Man. This dude got to have an excellent flying record because when he finds your plane, he has to fly it to its destination (most likely an auction house for repossessed planes.)
This can though, be a dangerous job, (imagine repossessing a plan from the mafia!), so, sometimes the plane repo guy needs to be well stocked with the heavies.
Sports Mascot
All those cute looking, furry, sometimes downright adorable sports mascot running around in costumes are actually full time paid employees of the various sports teams they represent. To become a mascot one needs to be athletic and fit one definitely should not venture into this ‘profession’ if they are shy!
Some mascots are so famous that they are often more popular than the players themselves!
Body Part Model
Modeling just ain’t for the pretty faces – if you got good hands or attractive looking feet, there just may be an opening in the modeling business for you!
Infact, depending on the product needing a model, sometimes you need to have these pair of really ugly looking hands or other parts of your body! Don’t forget, there has got to be someone who needs to be photographed for the ‘before’ photos!
Body models can sometimes make a lot of money, so don’t be discounting it as an option if you lose your real job.
Ball Diving
Ever wondered what happens to all the golf balls that go into the water on golf courses? Well, of course, now you know! Golf Ball Divers go in occasionally and retrieve those balls for you. It’s a relatively high paying job and it can be extremely dangerous (as at least two people have died on the job).
The best of the job though is that once you are done you can put on your plus-fours and play a round of golf.
Barnyard Masturbator
OK. Gross. But moving onwards – the job of the Barnyard Masturbator is to masturbate farmyard animals for artificial insemination. These folks usually have two options in hand. The first is to use a rectal electrifier which sends small shots of electricity up the bottom of the animal to stimulate it from the behind. The other is the old fashioned way – using their hands!!!
Whichever way – the less said about the ‘attractiveness’ of this job, the better it is.
Vomit Collector
We all know from experience that travelling on sideshow attractions can make people a little queasy. More often than not, at least one person on the more exciting rides is bound to spew a little.
Unfortunately, this produces quite a bit of vomit on a daily basis and some very unlucky people in this world get the job of cleaning it up!
Next time you’re bitching about your job, think of the poor vomit collector working at your local fair ground!
brian t says
Note: “chicken sexers” don’t look at sexual organs: chickens don’t have any external sexual organs anyway. (A cock doesn’t have a cock: isn’t it ironic?) They look for little feathers on the wings that differ between the male and female.