We all have a strange sort of affinity with the flags which represent our city, our state or our country. These are generally noble, dignified designs which fill us with patriotic pride and a sense of hope for the future of the world. However, when you look at some of the most bizarre flags in the world it is clear that noble and dignified aren’t always the best words to describe these things.

Guam

I am pretty sure that my aunt used to have a really cheap tea towel that looked just like this. It was pretty good for holding warm plates and for wiping down moderate spills but I can’t really recommend it for use as a state flag. Guam looks like a nice place, I guess, but hiring a 10-year old to paint the flag probably wasn’t a great idea.

New Jersey, USA

What on Earth is this all about? As far as the worst flags in the world go New Jersey takes a bit of beating. There seems to be a horse’s head floating over a knight’s helmet and then a shield with 3 identical pieces of farm equipment on it. If that wasn’t enough to make you feel proud to be from Newark then there are a couple of Roman goddesses to hammer home the feel good factor.

Kvalsund, Norway

What I know about Kvalsund in Norway you could write on the back of a salmon and still have enough room left over to fit in an epic Nordic saga. However, this silly effort just smacks of sheer laziness from the good people of Kvalsund. Let’s face it; all they have done is slap three fish onto a blue background in order to create a bizarre flag.

Mozambique

Books are good things to put on flags and more nations should use them to show the thirst for learning which their habitants have. The hoe is also a highly versatile and frankly sexy working implement. Hang on though, is that a blooming rifle with a bayonet on it? What sort of mad country puts a lethal firearm on their flag?

Bani Suwayf, Egypt

I had never heard of this place until about 2 minutes ago but the image of its flag will live long in my memory as one of the worst flags in the world. It looks like they just tried to cram in every natural and manmade feature which (presumably) is located there.

Belize

Belize looks like one crazy place going by their weird flag. Is this the only country in the world to have guys with no shirts on featured on the national flag? Clearly the inter racial harmony is a good thing, although I wonder what they plan to do with the blunt weapons they are holding in a rather menacing way. Do they intend to invade Guatemala in a surprise shirtless midnight attack?

Wiphala

This looks very much like the kind of thing you would print out to check if your PC’s printer was completely screwed, doesn’t it? Either that, or someone just went and broke the rainbow. Incredibly, this weird and crazy color scheme is used as a flag. It is called the Wiphala and is used by the Andean people as it represents the 4 different regions of the late, lamented Inca Empire. Oh yeah, now I can see it. Clear as a bell. There are 4 Andean regions there alright.